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Dec 30
2009
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New Year FunniesPosted by alligazm in Untagged   |
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Wow, I can't believe 2k10 is only 2 days away. Lots of good things to come!!!! Much more laughter, love, and blessings to you all.- Love, Alli(gazAm)
N'joy!
~Be sure to make great New Year's resolutions today so you'll have something good to pave Hell with later.
~To quick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
~The problem with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
~When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.
~"On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death. "
~"Dear Lord
So far this year I've done well.
I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
Amen "
~When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
~ I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.r/>
N'joy!
~Be sure to make great New Year's resolutions today so you'll have something good to pave Hell with later.
~To quick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
~The problem with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
~When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.
~"On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death. "
~"Dear Lord
So far this year I've done well.
I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
Amen "
~When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
~ I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
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